Sedative from Heaven

Two saints are talking about their “assignments” on earth.
“So, how’s yours doing?” asked one to the other.
“Oh you know her. She has difficulty sticking to a task or any project she began for a long time. She gets bored on a job easily after one or two years especially when things don’t happen the way she imagined them.”
“Hmmm. That’s tough.”
“Yes. And my job is to keep her where she is now for quite some time. God has great plans for her and where she is right now is a much needed set-up. I must think of ways to convince her to wait.” he frowned, seemingly clueless what to do next.
“Hmmm.She’s passionate and a little bit idealistic you mean?”
“Yup. She’s driven by passion and her creative imagination is infinite. She’s easily disappointed though.”
“Well why not send her something to keep her thoughts busy?”
“Like a challenge or problem? Hah the more you’ll driver her out of that place.” he chuckled remembering some incidents she did in the past.
“No. I mean send an inspiration. Send someone that will ignite her flame for some time.” the other one replied.
“You mean some sort of romantic flame?”
The other one nodded smiling mischievously.

The conversation ended with them smiling excitedly at the idea.

But then that’s THAT

 It’s just one of those days.

You reflect on situations you’ve found yourself getting into and then the devil pops out of nowhere, doing tiptoes in your thoughts whispering: “Arrgg, you can do better than that.”, “Why didn’t you say …. instead of …..?”, “You should’ve asked this”, “Hey a little smile and a smart remark would’ve been better”, “Loser.”

But all is said and done.

I admit. I’m not quick to react smart in certain situations and most of the time I’m caught off guard. I feel totally miserable regretting what I haven’t or should said and done. I admire those with a quick-wit and charming appeal. But that’s just me….until further notice.

Going back home after 6 long years revived the life in me. I never thought I will be able to reconnect–I’ve been alienated for a long time (which is for the most part–my fault anyway). On that special day I realized that from this day on I will focus on quality. I learned to prioritize and treasure those who exerted enough efforts telling me I’m their priority or that I belong to their priority list. The rest doesn’t bother me anymore if I fail at times to meet their needs. I shifted my focus.

In the end, it’s not the quantity of “so-called” friends that matter but the few ones whom you shared your joys and pains and sentiments with. What’s 200 people who’s not even interacting with you? Yes, sometimes FB can be depressing. What’s 25 whom you can’t really begin a sensible conversation with? And perhaps 10 of them remembering you because there’s something they need only  you could provide: “Hi, how are you? Remember me? I missed you! By the way do you know where I can blah blah blah”–ah yes that’s why they call it networking.

A few really really good friends and a tight family relationship. There’s nothing more I need.

Pansy in Spring

Spend today assessing how many things in your life you are holding on to because you are afraid of letting them go rather than because you love and value them. Examine all areas of your life including your material possessions, money, activities, work and relationships. Over the next week, dare to release something you are holding on to out of fear rather than love. As you do, hold the thought that everything you release makes room for something new and wonderful to come to you.

Source: Lynn Woodland Odyssey Oracle

 Somehow, the thought of seriously following this advice scares me.

Welcome to myself

It’s good to be back.

A step forward

The Harvest

 ”If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”
-Nora Roberts, fiction author

 

Three things were necessary before I finally was motivated to pick that paintbrush and start practicing:

1. A visit to my favorite arts & handicrafts shop in the nearby city

   This shop gives the same effect to me the same way I visit bookstores and libraries–my eyes would grow big and wild from all those “lovely treasures” waiting to be explored. The depths of my imagination is unstoppable I am literally tired and exhausted once I leave the place. Then I start to worry. I worry about not having enough craft to put all those ideas into action that in an attempt to “rescue” my thoughts and ideas, I would search my bag or my surroundings for something to write them on. I have this need to temporarily eternalize them hoping they come in handy once needed.

2. Reading a good or inspirational book

   “If you want to be a writer, then start writing.”
   This is the latest lesson or reminder I’ve read from a book this week. It even made me laugh. “Yes of course,” I told myself. “I wanted to be an artist, yet here I am not painting. A child can’t expect to be a professional pianist one day if he hadn’t played a piano.” And lastly,

3.  a visit/encounter with someone who’s been there

    At times I would click on all the link lists in other bloggers I often visited. That’s where I saw Gypsy-heart’sblog and that’s a driving force. It’s a good motivation to see someone doing the things they love to do and enjoying every minute of it. It’s inspiring to see how others develop the talents given to them and fulfills ones life in the process.

So there it is. The Harvest, because I can only reap what I sow.
This picture is now hanging in my kitchen and every time I look at it, my heart starts singing, “I feeel good…tananananana…”

It’s time

Koenigstein castle in Germany, taken Oct. 2005
“Get ready to free yourself and fly”

Many times today take a deep breath or two, place your hand over your heart and tell yourself silently or out loud that you are now ready to take a quantum leap into your success and highest good.

Source: Lynn Woodland Odyssey Oracle

Thank you Grace, for sharing this

Rotting within

“So sis, are you ready? … pause … well, last weekend mom decided to clean your room and voila! We have just discovered that most of your carefully stored boxes containing your memorabilia have been heavily damaged by those cute and lovable termites. The good news is, your boxes looked okay from the outside. Those termites have somehow found their way in secretly. Oh and your clothes and shoes inside the cabinet have been damaged too. So what do you think? What should we do?”

I guess there’s nothing to do but throw those damaged shoes and clothing away and condition my “most of the time normal” psychological self that it’s time to say goodbye to all the things pertaining to my past that I tried to keep all these years: to my favorite novels, collected stuffs from high school to college, written stories, letters, etc.

It’s one of those disappointments not worth saving because you know there’s nothing else to do but accept the fact, forget it and move on. But first, let me not deny the fact that upon hearing the news, all I wanted to do is fly back, search those %&*”§!?! termites burn and sent them to extinction.

My memorabilia boxes … it’s quite amusing how the boxes remained unharmed from the outside. Aren’t there many of us in such situation? Looking “okay” from the outside but rotting inside?

As for me, I guess those termites “helped” me if I am to symbolically consider what they did—erasing most of my past memories that’s hindering me from moving forward and starting new all these time.